I Choose.

"I choose to be the best that I can be. To be courageous in everything I do. My past don't dictate who I am, so I choose. I choose." --India Arie

When I was growing up, I listened to India Arie a lot. The messages she sends through her music are so powerful. So beautiful. I could go on forever about how much I love her, but that's not really the point. Let me start from the beginning.

Before the accident, I only thought of food and exercise as "I can't eat this or I'll gain weight" or "I had cake, I should go work out". It was never about vitamins or hydration or my heart being strong. Since I've gotten out of rehab, I live for my health. I eat well, I exercise daily, I drink water instead of diet coke.. I care. I go to a university that's progressively taking their students' health more seriously. Healthy(ish) food choices at the dining hall, a wellness center (with a free nutritionist), tons of health classes, and a really nice gym. The gym offers free personal training, so I've been doing that for about 6 months. Each time I meet a new trainer, they read my file and see everything that happened to me in the accident. I'm not saying this to sound conceited, but I think the majority of them are pretty blown away at how far I've come. Hell, even I'm blown away. The trainer I had today was also in a car accident, and we talked the whole time about our experiences. She said her's wasn't as bad, but it was very different from mine and from the sound of it, it was equally as miserable. Miserable in a good way, if that makes any sense. I think it was our mindset that was so similar. We both said if we were given the choice, we wouldn't take the accident back. No one else I've told that to believes me or understands, so it was really nice to have someone understand me for once. How I see it is, this terrible thing that happened has taught me so many important lessons. It's helped me to realize the things that are important in my life and to be thankful for them, and helped me to accept the hard things I'm faced with. I know I'm a strong person now. I've flourished. No one can take that away from me, and that's such a good feeling. :) So - if I could - why would I give that away willingly? You know? I'm just really thankful I got to end my day talking to her.