Time to Move Forward

Sometimes I forget how precious my life is. Life, in general. There are so many things you can do with the one life you're given. Just thought I'd take some time to list all the things i'm thankful for :) Don't let your head get wrapped about the negative things!

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That was an old post I wrote and never published. I've been in such a bad mood today. It's nice to see little reminders like that when my head's not on right. My problem this week is friendships. I had said last month that I wanted to spend this year working on my relationships with people. Maybe actually making real friends? The more people I talk to, the more I realize I'm not alone in that. We're not in high school anymore. Our best friends aren't in all of our classes and we don't all have lunch together. Some don't even go to the same school or live in the same state. So it's not all me, college makes it harder too. I think making friends is so hard for me now because of last year. Right around this time is when I realized I had none left. And then my boyfriend wanted every girl in Georgia besides me. That was an awesome feeling. God, I can't even describe how hard last year was for me... So lately I've gotten really close to someone and then all the sudden we pretty much stopped talking or seeing eachother all week. I've been in a complete panic. I don't want to get hurt again but I don't want to hurt anyone else either. My first instinct when I get hurt is to put my guards up and cut people off. It's so easy for me. Usually I don't even think twice but this time I decided to do things differently.. I told her how I felt. Amazing, right? Talking to people is so important! I'm a very intuitive person and even I can't read someone's mind, so why should I expect someone to read mine? I can't just cut people off with no explanation, I know that. And I think I can stop doing that now. I've been so lost with everything this week.. friends, boys, grades, money.. the typical stuff people my age freak out about. Normally I would say that my case is totally different and I was in an accident and lost all my friends and gained weight blah blah. But I think I'm over that :) Everyone has problems and obstacles. Some are much worse than mine, and some people don't handle them as well as I've been able to. It's been 2 years. I don't need to be Coma Girl anymore. As much as it scares me to let go of the one thing I can blame all my problems on, I think it will help me in the end.



"Tell me everything will be ok if I just stay on my knees and keep praying, believing in something. Tell me everything is all taken care of by those qualified to take care of it all... Wake up sleepy head. I think the sun's a little brighter today. Smile and watch the icicles melt away and see the waters rising. Summer's here to stay, and that sweet summer breeze will blow forever. Go down to the shore, kick off your shoes, dive in the empty ocean." Dive In by Dave Matthews. I can't waaiitt to see this song live!